In the Dark
There are times when I'm inconsolable
when the world around me becomes too much
and my demons come out to feast on me
There are times when I'm hopeless
when I'm too lost to return home
and I don’t respond to your comforting touch
At times, I surround myself with
shadows
and let my troubles eat me whole
when your tender words are not enough
when the tides of my heart have shifted
and my soul flows to the dark side
But until I re-waken
remember, you're still the keeper of my heart
and your tender touch and sweetest smile
are like nectar to my aching mind
So when I am alone in darkness
Let me find comfort in previous
lusts
Let me bandage my pain in solitude
and dry my tears from agony -- and peel each layer apart from us...
I do long for when these shadows disperse
and once again I cherish the smile glistening
across your sweet, tender face, and your comforting embrace
Yet, until then I remain -- in the
dark....
_____________________________________________________________
My
Bitch
She
was my bitch, my ride-or-die bitch. My 9 mm clock that I held to my head in
desperation. She pressed hard against my temple, while my running blood beat in
formation a whirlwind of ideas…making translucent holes, seeping crevices
through my skull.
My head rested on her shaft, my eyes glaring from side to
side, confused and trapped to become witness as I struggled to view the safety.
But I found no safety with her, it was merely a lost novelty, one I created to
trick my mind, trick myself into believing that this Black Bitch wasn’t ready
to fire at will…cuz she was --- ready, cocked and calculating my next move…she
pretending she wanted to relieve my pain, bring the heat, end my desire for
love, for death. Damn, I needed a direct hit to my psyche…and trust, this Bitch
wasn’t playing…
She just let me hold her tight, grip her hand, grave her
power, slip my fingers inside her hole which pressed hard against my temple.
This 9mm clock wanted revenge she was relentless, every sin driven for payback.
She calculated as she assisted me with my task. Her blackness beamed around my
face, shadowed my senses and desired absolution.
My bitch was clever, she was the devil tricken’ me she
didn’t exist, yet telling me she wanted nothing less than bloodshed. I couldn’t
shake this shit, I wanted a way out, a way to erase the insults, forget the
lies, forgive the betrayal, and kill the humiliation.
So I held on tighter, grippin’ the hard black steel,
pressing it closer to my temple; sweat trickling down, blending with my
colliding tears…damn…this Bitch wanted everything, my cries wouldn’t do, my
screams of rebuke wouldn’t do, she wanted all of me, my life…in ultimate sin.
And I gave it to her --- gave it, all to her…
when I clicked the trigger…
___________________________________________________________
Wraith
I
lay awake in isolation
in this
cold and eerie room
Blinded by
anxious grief
As
the evening cascades to dusk
the
mysterious night envelops me
with sin’s
arms that reach out
pulling me
into ruthless darkness
trapped in
her vicious silence
shrouded with
fragrant memories
once so
occupied of you…
I swim in an
ocean
of
unfathomable
stalking shadows
there is no
escape, bound
your spirit
follows my every footstep
haunted by
a clever phantom
I mourn the
death of my love.
You live in
my dreams
frozen and
calculated
disinclined
to liberate my soul
sleep
ceased seeking refuge
I hear
shrills of your laughter
among the
midnight whispers;
your image
floats in the wind
Breathing a caress over my mind
And teasing my torrid body...
I have
mourned you some time ago
reluctantly walked
past your grave
Shuddered
by the chill, that held my hand
with wilted
bouquets and tear-stained face
Being
captured in false solace
My
will eternally hollowed
I blew a
tender kiss
with
shielded goodbye
for when
you left my heart
You instantly, died.
____________________________________________________________
Wicked: Part I
There are days on end…
I wonder what it would be like - to actually murder someone
No not the adolescent thoughts of killing mayhem
Nor the homicidal threats of vengeance
Not the promises made from scorned lovers…
Not even the idle contemplation of retribution…
Pure unadulterated murder…
The kind the serial killers engage in
The kind that makes the hair on the back of our neck crawl
Or the type where you do it just to see the expression of death
Or abduction murder…where the victim never knew it was coming…
I don’t think you understand me…
You are somewhere between the poem
The poetic meaning and artistic notion
Well, get out of there…
I am speaking authentic
I am, for real; I want to know what it feels like, to kill
What my hand sees, around your neck choking the life out of you
Sounds like, the very gurgling, the wide-eyed pleas
The suffocating sneaks of breath
Breathing against my face, as I bend toward your ashened lips
Feeling for air and watch silently, your eyes widen…darken…
Until your body goes limp and your muscles, retire
And finally, you depart…
And you still think this is just a poem
You are somewhere between the poem
The poetic meaning and the artistic notion
Well, get the fuck out of there…
I am speaking on some sadistic thought
I am serious; I want to know what it feels like, to kill
What my hand looks like, covered in slimy blood
Feels like, the very smell of fresh blood oozing down my arms
The groans beneath my body, as you try to wiggle free
You reaching for object to fight, but I plunder under wound
Into your chest, the floor engulfed w/ gore, your heart pierced
Releasing blood over the room, splashing the walls…
Until your body jerks stiff, your eyes lock-open, still
And finally, you depart…
Do you still think this is just a poem?
Are you, somewhere between the poem
The poetic meaning and the artistic notion
Well, last warning; Get the fuck out of there…
I am planning on doing this murder
I am past thoughts; I need to know what it feels like, to kill
What my hand senses, while amidst the bat smashing your forehead
Sensations running through my mind, hearing cries of pain
The begging me to stop as each hit strikes another blow
You’re extending your arms in protection, as I smash bones
Which crush like splinters and break through your skin
Teeth shatter, unsullied vomit coating my feet…
Brains spilling onto the ground where you will lie, cold
And finally, you depart…
____________________________________________________________
Pool of Blood –
Take me – drink of me…
Here I am full of blood not shame
Yet distinct by you not of my word…
I wait the day for your acceptance…
A heart cannot beat without blood
And mine cannot beat without you…
I am adenine
You are thymine
We are -- genetic and defined…
I do not stand beside this pool
Nor inside this pool or along this pool…
I do not curse this blood nor denigrate in it…
I am -- the pool of blood –
Crimson and fluid...flowing to reach you…
If only you would allow this transfusion
To penetrate your soul, your every vein would pump
Our blood would shield one another
Our Blood would become as solitary…
Our Blood would erase all your doubt
And magnify into an enticing boil…
Until we are unified and whole…
The two of us a fusion nucleotide
My DNA is written by your fears
As a double helix of chains
Thru your years, presently past…
I am guanine
You are cytosine
We are – genetic and defined…
I am this pool of blood
Lay beside this pool
Drink of this pool…
Succumb to this blood
Be made consecrated
In this pool of blood…
I crave to be intertwine and deliver you
Let me be the one to live for you
Breathe for you and make you believe again
My adoration will consume
Our lives, your life
And build a “Paradise” of life…
From all the pain, the fears and the lies
How I show you; a real woman’s walk
How I exist to serve you, our home, our family…
How I represent loyalty for your namesake…
So, embrace all life puts asunder
Permit me to teach you
Our blood makes us stronger…
A heart cannot beat without blood
And mine cannot beat without you…
I am adenine
You are thymine
We are -- genetic and defined…
Take me – drink of me…
I do not stand beside this pool
Nor inside this pool or along this pool…
I do not curse this blood nor denigrate in it…
I am -- this pool of blood – ____________________________________________________________
"Why So Serious?"
A cold hard blade
Slips across your skin
My thoughts keep flashing…
My secret, my sin.
A pool of warm blood
Under you from the slash
Your eyes show fear
That I can’t feel…
The slowness of your breath
Pulsates in my hand
As I stab n’ choke…
I neatly wrap up what you said…
The day you cheated
Of what I now had; lost
Yet today your blood taste
Sweet and drips down my lips.
I lick every drop
Lay my head on open chest
Record the moment you went blank
With clichéd, “I’m Sorry”…
and “It was nothing, nothing; why you being like that?” Now my teeth hold your heart… I bite and claw at your limp body… Until the blackness in your eyes.
Shows no sign of life… And all I can think about… Is the line from Joker in Batman; “Why so serious?”… _____________________________________________________________
Fatal Attraction…
For it is so…that in our fatality and immortality — to seek and
reside in love…we give ourselves away without discretion even in
discreet pleasures…and when we do…it is us who will become enslaved to
our desire, our own longing; our own power; our own lust and quilt, and
unfaltering need to be taken, sheltered and adored…and thus in
itself…our fatality/immortality is not quite wrong, or right, or evil or
temptations; nor is it justified or vilified or sanctioned by those who
imprisoned us —those who suck the life right out of us…
In our volition…it is our own demise we seek…ultimately…cuz’ the
threshold of love; the ferocity of our salacious and noxious contentment
in Dominance and Submission is so intoxicating that nothing comes
closer to fatal attraction then the love or being in love…and feeling
love from those who will display it when thrown in the game of our own
passion…and since we are so involved in direction of others and craving
of attention and desperately and simultaneously: narcissistic,
parasitic, egotistic…& shameless…n’ wanton in victimizing our
selves…for the pleasure of those who only came to feed upon us, exploit
us…but who is the winner here, the loser…
The predator or the prey…it is skewed, and only then do we realize; we were not only, predictable, but so, were they… _____________________________________________________________
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