i found this out by accident. over a decade ago, while i, and what was left of my family were in the midst of making new lives for ourselves, a classmate of karen's (my x) offered to take me to the gym, a few times each week.
i liked the idea of getting out of the house, and having something i could actually DO (i was wheelchair-bound due to a car accident, so my 'DOING' skills had become SEVERELY limited ;).
in her (the classmate of karen's) car riding home one day, she glanced over at me and asked me if i'd be interested in finding out about this new kind of therapy she was checking-out. i thought ''therapy schmeripy'', i'd seen wwwwaaaayyyyyy too many types in my day and i thought ''i didn't want to see any more''. so i said ''no.''
she made a couple more turns, stopped for a light and said casually, that she knew exactly what i meant, (turns out she had looked into a few herself). we drove a little further and she said something like ''me too'', that's one of the reasons she listened to what he (the guy who'd introduced her to this new form of therapy) had to say - something like ''we believe that each person holds within themselves both the client AND the counselor''.
''i was curious'' she continued, ''they also believe in calling the weirdest things emoting'' (expressing emotions). she gave me some examples - crying, yawning, fast talking, punching a bag, grimacing, screaming.
she said something like ''i was hooked!''
we went a few more blocks and she said - ''i started going, in fact there's one tonight, wanna go?''. i went, simply because of her enthusiasm, that night and about 40 more (spread out over a 4 month period ;), until... THE LIGHT WENT ON!
there i was waiting in somebody's, (i didn't know who's), living room, looking thru the reading materiel the she'd put on the table.
i picked-up a quarterly journal put out by the co-counseling people (the people who'd started the therapy), and in it was an article by a woman who'd had a SS with a rock!
***(backing-up here) - a SS is a Successful Session, a period of time (usually about 10 mins.), wherein BOTH people are happy with their being a 'client' and a 'counselor'.
in other words - the person who did the crying, yawning, yelling, fast talking, etc, was the 'client'. the 'counselor' had the harder job, (or so i thought ;), of just listening attentively and prodding the 'client' to continue-on.
! ! ! THE LIGHT ! ! ! - there i was in the middle of this lady's living-room and thought - ''hell! if she could do it with a ROCK, i could do it with a trash can!!!'' ISOs WERE BORN!!!
(the whole 'birthing process' was completely invisible to me. i was entangled in my own 'life'. you know... the day-to-day routines that, with my help, became invaluable to me by their being MINE. what can i say??? i'm a well-trained meddler in my own life).
one of my routines STARTED on that very day, as i sat waiting in that lady's living room and finding the article about that person and the ROCK. i went home and immediately and went into the downstairs' bathroom/powder room. i'd heard or read somewhere that by GETTING RID OF the emotions surrounding a traumatic event (like the auto-accident that put me in this damn chair), i could overcome any physical disabilities. SO... ''he was already 'primed'' you might say.
all i did when i went to those co-counseling sessions, was scream into a towel. THAT was my chosen form of emoting. i did it that SAME way (but used a towel because when i didn't want to scare david (my son) or annoy karen with the sounds i was surely making). i did it that way for a year or so...
... and then i moved in here (st. matthew's house) and it became really handy because ~ i had neighbors!
''THAT'S ALL WELL & GOOD B U T . . .''
what's really a RELIEF! for me is the simplicity and e a s e that i NOW HAVE (years later) in summoning-up enthusiasm for my puny, little day-to-day events AS WELL AS getting rid of those negative emotions.
this'll probably be VERY hard for you to wrap your head around...
''THAT'S ALL WELL & GOOD BUT WHAT ABOUT THIS THAT YOU SAID - THAT IF YOU COULD GET RID OF THE EMOTIONS SURROUNDING YOUR ACCIDENT - YOU'LL BE ABLE TO WALK AGAIN?''